The Proven Magic Relationship Ratio

To understand the difference between happy and unhappy couples, Dr. Gottman and Robert Levenson began doing longitudinal studies of couples in the 1970s. They asked couples to solve a conflict in their relationship in 15 minutes, then sat back and watched. After carefully reviewing the tapes and following up with them nine years later, they were able to predict which couples would stay together and which would divorce with over 90% accuracy.

Their discovery was simple. The difference between happy and unhappy couples is the balance between positive and negative interactions during conflict. There is a very specific ratio that makes love last.

That “magic ratio” is 5 to 1. This means that for every negative interaction during conflict, a stable and happy marriage has five (or more) positive interactions.

You are probably wondering what does this have to do with my business and me being an Entrepreneur... Well, apart from the fact that we all need a reminder every so often of how to look after our relationships... Your business will thrive when you look after your staff and client relationships! Some people in business and especially with the influx of online communication, where we are that one step removed from face to face interaction, forget that we are actually dealing with human beings - not just "customers". 

Many of you who have been in business for a number of years, probably have some very loyal clients for a very long time - some of you might value their custom, loyalty and even opinion as much as you would in a "marriage" :-) But all jokes aside... How do you look after these client relationships when there is a "breakdown" in the relationship?

Have you ever had a client who fell out of love with your product or service?

How did you handle that? Did you get in touch with them? Did you just let it slide or did you try and resolve the situation?

So here is where John Gottman and his Magic Ratio comes in! What if you were to apply this magic ratio to your client relationships? How could you possibly engage your client in 5 or more positive interactions after they have experienced a negative interaction?

We have applied John Gottman's theory into practical business relationship advice for you. How you can include 5 positive interactions if your client has had a negative experience.

Bring back the Magic... 

First of all, you need to decide whether you WANT to rectify the situation? If yes, follow the 5 steps that we have laid out for you to include Gottman's magic ratio. 

1- Make personal contact with your client. Do not get your assistant or secretary to contact them on your behalf... Make sure you make contact with them yourself. I am sure you know how it felt when the owner, CEO or Managing Director made contact with you after you had a complaint about a product or service. 

2- The second step is really important! Listen to your client. Listen to their grievances, what the issue is and how they feel about it. The fact of the matter is that EVERYONE wants to be seen and heard. When the person you are interacting with, feels heard, you are already on your way to mending the breakdown. 

3- Step 3 is equally important. Feedback to the client what you heard them say. In other words... "Mary, thank you for telling me about this situation. What I hear you are saying is this..." This important step does two things... It reaffirms to the client that they have been heard, and it also clarifies that you understand what they are saying - so that there are no further misunderstandings.

4- Step 4 is to look at whether the issue/ problem/grievance actually CAN be resolved. Go through the different options of what can resolve the problem and then choose the best way to resolve it. If there is nothing that can be done to resolve the issue, is there something else that you can offer the client that will gesture how much you appreciate their custom.

5- Step 5 is two-fold... Firstly thank the client for their time and talking this through with you, and that you are being given a chance to re-establish a business relationship or loyal custom with them. Secondly, you need to DELIVER on the resolve that you decided on in Step 4. This re-builds trust in the relationship. 

So there you have it! 5 positive actions you can include in a business relationship when your client has had a negative experience or interaction. 

Look after your clients and they will look after you! 

If this is something you would like to dive into deeper make sure to download our  Free "Get Results" eBook!